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Circumcision… Again.

My views on medically unnecessary infant/child circumcision are pretty much set in stone, but I feel the need to clarify my feelings about parents who, in the past, have had their son(s) circumcised.

Firstly, it totally depends on whether they knew the harm they were doing to their child. Sadly, most parents are not told the truth about what circumcision entails, and the detrimental effects it has on the penis. Many parents just assume that circumcision is something that happens to every baby boy. Kind of like baby boy = circumcision. This is especially true if the father, himself, is also circumcised.

This misconception is compounded by the highhanded attitude of doctors when they unlawfully approach the parents of boys, and ask them if they want their son circumcised. They also create the false impression that circumcision is good by whitewashing what it entails when they tell parents that it’s just "a little snip", equating it to something like cutting the umbilical cord. It’s not. Circumcision is a full-blown surgical procedure with all the inherent risks all surgeries have. Up to, and including, the death of the child. They also regularly cite circumcision’s unproven benefits, never telling parents that NO MEDICAL ORGANIZATION IN THE WORLD supports, or recommends, routine circumcision for newborn boys. I find this shameful.

When Morgan was born, I was personally asked by two different doctors, from the obstetrician practice I saw while pregnant, about whether I wanted him circumcised… All without bringing up the subject myself. If Pookey & I had been like many parents today, totally ignorant about the harm circumcision brings, then we might have made a mistake and said yes. Thankfully for Morgan, that was not the case.

Also: My best friend has two sons. The eldest is in his mid 20’s, and the younger is Morgan’s age. The older one is circumcised, and the younger one isn’t. Why? Simply put, she knew more about circumcision the second time around to make a truly informed decision, and she chose to leave her youngest son whole. After talking with her about it at length, she wishes she had known more when her eldest son was born, then she would have never had him circumcised. She doesn’t beat herself up over that fact though, as there is nothing she can do about it now. I respect that.

So, if parents are (or were) truly ignorant about circumcision, then I can’t hold them responsible. Not really. A lot of parents have found out the facts too late, and if they had known then, what they know now, they would have never allowed their son to be circumcised. I just feel sorrow for those parents, but I feel the most for their son who had no real choice but to submit to, and survive through, an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

November 4th, 2006 Posted by: Ash

Entry Filed under: Circumcision

6 Comments Add your own

1. Andi | November 6th, 2006 at 2:53 am

I totally agree with your thoughts on infant circumcision. I’m an OB nurse and I’ve witnessed it too many times. It’s just brutal. I’m happy to report I am the mom of a healthy, intact little boy here in North Texas.
Thank you for trying to inform parents about infant circumcision!
2. Ash | November 6th, 2006 at 2:51 pm

Kudos to you Andi for respecting your son’s right to a whole body!
3. Tony | November 6th, 2006 at 4:53 pm

Ash,

Thanks for posting this. The struggle to avoid judging parents who’ve made their son’s decision for him is hard. I try to remember that parents are human and making the best decision they can, with what information and thinking they had. I must discount that they don’t think like I do, seeing the obvious flaw in cutting a child for non-medical reasons. But it’s a constant challenge.

I also try to carry that over when I have discussions with parents considering circumcision now. I’m much less forgiving, though. The information is there, the argument’s have been made against circumcision. The internet really is the great equalizer against stupidity. I have no patience for stubborn refusal to accept that a child is not parental property.

But… I still won’t resort to judgment or name-calling. I’ve had insults hurled at me, suggesting personal inadequacy as a reason for my passionate stance against circumcision. I won’t resort to the same. My arguments are based on sound logic. I do not need petty tactics. As a society, I believe we will see our errors in this. Too late, but we will.
4. Ash | November 7th, 2006 at 10:46 pm

Tony,

Parents who have all the facts about circumcision, and still go on to have their sons circumcised, are a different story entirely. Why anyone would want to purposefully harm their child is beyond me. When I first learned about circumcision, back when I was pregnant with Morgan, I was horrified that people actually allowed that to be done to their newborn baby. I knew I would never have this unnecessary surgery performed on my son. Ever. It’s a shame that so many parents don’t do the same.
5. amygeekgrl | November 9th, 2006 at 1:03 am

i totally agree. in fact, i recently posted about this topic on my blog as well with regard to the fact that my husband and i plan to leave our son (due next week) intact. after a few days of intelligent comments and conversations on the thread, it seems to be taking a turn for the worst.
still, it isl my hope that parents who are on the fence about circ’ing will come across the info i’ve shared and make an informed decision.
6. Ash | November 10th, 2006 at 1:59 am

Amy,

Thanks for your nice comment, as I said earlier on your blog, as well as 50 million other places: I think about circumcision this way… If I wouldn’t want some one to mutilate and permanently damage my genitals, then why would my son want that done to him?

Fellow readers go take a look at the post on Amy’s blog… It’s really well written.

As for the negative commenters on your blog, always remember that it’s YOUR blog, and if they truly don’t add to the discussion about the post then you’re allowed to delete them.

Please Note: Comments that are off topic will be deleted. Comments that suck will be deleted. So don't post off topic, or sucky comments. Thank you!